The Ghana Files: Ants

Last night gave some new insights into the phrase “ants in your pants.”

Let me begin by explaining that we have a very real ant problem in our house. My roommate has explained that the rainy season is coming and the ants are out in full force, searching for food to store. They seem to have upped their ante this week, as more than once I have walked into the bathroom to find what can only be described as a carpet of ants on the floor. I wish I was exaggerating, but it really looks like black shag carpet. Black shag carpet that moves. Yes, it’s as horrifying as it sounds.

The ants seem to be very fond of the bathroom and the kitchen as well as the entranceways to our house. Thankfully, they have been kind enough to stay out of the bedrooms. That was something that I took for granted, until last night.

Last night I learned a very important lesson. If you KNOW that you have an ant problem in your house, do not coat your pajama bottoms with sugar before going to bed. I will leave out the details as to exactly how my pajama bottoms got covered in sugar, but I figured I had done an adequate job at “cleaning” them by simply brushing them off with my hands. I guess they weren’t clean enough though, because a few hours later as I was laying in bed I could swear I felt something crawling on me. After swatting at the creepy-crawly sensation, I noticed that I had smushed a few insects with my hand. I leapt out of bed and turned on the light, sure enough I was covered in ants. My whole bed was covered in ants. My floor was covered in ants. There were ants everywhere. Like a very bad dream, only it this was real.

I must have stayed up for hours hunting each and every ant, armed with only a flip-flop as my ant spray had run out that morning. Once I was confident that I had gotten 99.9% of them, I finally crawled back into bed. I woke up once more when I felt a few stragglers crawling into my pants. Once I finally figured out that I needed to change my pants, all was well and the rest of my evening was ant free.

So yeah, Ghana has taught me another new lesson: if you have an ant problem, don’t wear sugar-coated pants to bed.

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